Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Hell aka camping

Warning this post contains disturbing material - read at your own risk.

I went camping this week and it SUCKED. I would like to share my camping trip with you so that you can be as miserable as I am.

6 things I hate about camping.

6-It lasted too long.

5-It took a half hour to get in to the bathroom.

4-After you got into the bathroom, you wanted to get out because of how dirty it was.

3-The tent doesn't keep the dew out so have fun drying off your clothes, blanket, pillow and bed at 4am.

2-You don't sleep; you just look at the top of your tent all night while you feel your airbed deflate.

1-I have 30 bug bites but after 2 days I'm still counting.

6 things better than camping.

6-Putting TNT in your mouth.

5-Drinking lava.

4-Getting run over by an SUV.

3-Rubbing a cheese grater on your face for 12 hours a day.

2-Burning your eyes out with matches.

1-Preforming your own surgery.

So, if you're thinking of going camping, don't; stay home and do something useful or at least do something that's not dumb.

I HATE CAMPING!!!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Entry 565-17



Entry 565-17: These ignorant humans have kept me in captivity for 533 days. My mission from the high command to investigate and report on human activity is going poorly. Escape attempt 195 C4+ screen has failed. I fear I may never leave this horrible place; however, I will still attempt to report on human activity when possible.

Report #234: the humans continue to call me Chester even though I have tried on repeated occasions to inform them that my name is Maril. They continue to harass me with their torture device called a hug. The one they call mom or human 917 appears to think I enjoy them. The food they expect me to eat is vile and looks like one of them may have puked it up. They are also very unsanitary because disgusting though it may sound, they do not lick themselves clean, but rather take things called showers instead, which is no doubt not enough. This ends report 234.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Wednesday, February 11, 2009